


It Might Be Over Soon

by badgerpride89



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aromantic Caduceus Clay, Asexual Caduceus Clay, Gen, Minor Caduceus Clay/Fjord, but there is no tag for that, ep 118-120 spoilers, look caduceus sees fjord as his most important person, so we use the relationship tags we have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28652238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badgerpride89/pseuds/badgerpride89
Summary: Caduceus and Fjord take an evening to open up about recent events.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Fjord
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	It Might Be Over Soon

“So you told her,” Caduceus said mildly. He was bundled up in blankets in front of the library’s great fire, his fingers curled around a thick mug of warm apple cider. Every so often he blew his bangs out of his face. Fjord would be lying if he said he didn’t find it adorable, how young and open Caduceus looked in those moments, especially compared to his previous standoffishness. 

Fjord blinked at the comment, let it settle in his gut. He slid from the couch to the floor beside his friend.

“I did, yes,” he said with a slight chuckle. He barely believed it, some moments.

Caduceus nodded, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “Good. I’m glad. I’d been wondering…”

Fjord gave him a moment to complete the thought but Caduceus remained silent. He was doing that a lot lately, participating more but getting lost just as frequently. It frightened Fjord almost as much as what Jester had said about the astral city. This, at least, he could do something about. He gently knocked Caduceus’ knee. “Wondering…” he nudged.

Caduceus stared at him, pulled back into the present. “Whether you or Beau would make the first real move. Respectively, not both of you towards Jester.”

Fjord snorted. “You were, were you?” he asked, fondly amused.

“Yasha, Veth, and I had a bet going. I lost.”

Fjord’s eyebrows rose and his mouth opened slightly, his cheeks flushing. Was he really that obvious all this time? He didn’t know whether to be offended or not. “You bet against me?” 

Caduceus’ lips curled into a smug smirk. “I prefer to think of it as knowing you both. Beau...all she needed was a small kick in the rear,” he teased before growing more serious. “You seemed like you wanted to wait until you’d laid your past to rest. Which, I mean, we can’t ever, not fully, anyway, but I knew you’d be ready after you’d dealt with Vandren and that whole...situation. And given where we are…” he gestured vaguely at the snow falling outside the tower.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Fjord chuckled. 

Caduceus patted Fjord’s knee. “Veth and Yasha will be very smug tomorrow.”

Yasha, he’d expected. “Veth?!”

“She said, and I quote, ‘Jester looks too damn cute in her new winter gear, I give him two weeks tops.’” He paused for a beat. “If it helps, she was starting to doubt her decision since you’d left it so long.”

Fjord rubbed his temples, his face flushing again as he shook his head. A beat passed, then two, then three. “I would have, you know,” he finally whispered, eyes on the fireplace, “Waited. But then that…” he dropped his eyes. He still couldn’t say it out loud, that five years stolen from Jester,  _ from them to be with her,  _ that that spurred him to action when nothing else could.

Caduceus nodded, sad understanding in his eyes. They had purpled in the last several weeks, one more piece in a growing list of the sheer power the Tomb Takers were toying with and which the Nein needed to stop. It frightened Fjord, just what this thing was capable of and how deeply it had sunk its claws into people he cared for and swore to protect. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you acted, Fjord. We don’t know the time we’re given. People should know they’re loved.”

A comfortable silence fell over them both as Caduceus finished his drink. Fjord pulled the couch throw over his legs for something to do. But it was nice. None of them really had time to just hang out together since landing on this gods’ forsaken continent, too tired from the daily treks and too frightened of the unknown. 

“You know I love you, right?” Caduceus asked abruptly.

A flood of thoughts crashed through Fjord’s head. Of course and no kidding and momentary dread at the idea of breaking Caduceus’ heart. But then he remembered what Caduceus had said about how he missed that he was being flirted with, and how he wasn’t interested, and how he never had been before, and Fjord breathed deeply, relieved that he could return the sentiment.

“Of course I do,” he said casually, though he was curious about where Caduceus was going with this.

Caduceus nodded as the tension seeped out of him. “I forget, sometimes, that other people need me to say it. That feeling it isn’t enough.”

“It’s plenty,” Fjord reassured him. “We know. It’s in everything you do.”

“You as well,” Caduceus returned, then stretched. “All of you, really, but anyway. Just wanted to say it.”

“Thank you. I care for you too.” How much easier that phrase is to say since he first met these people. What joy he felt in being able to express it. But. “What brought this on?”

Caduceus shrugged, suddenly interested in arranging his mug just so on the silver tray for the cats to later collect.

Fjord took a stab at it anyway, curiosity and concern driving him. “Jester mentioned something about you going home soon?”

Caduceus took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” he said softly, “I want to see everyone, to see the Grove in full bloom...”

The fire crackled, throwing the stained glass and dark shelves into stark relief. The tray and mug vanished during the long moment.

“But?” Fjord asked.

Caduceus leaned onto Fjord’s shoulder. Not much, just his thin bicep anchored on Fjord’s shoulder. But it was something. “I don’t want to leave you,” Caduceus mumbled.

“I don’t understand what one has to do with the other,” Fjord said gently.

Caduceus curled in on himself a little. “It’s just a feeling,” he finally said, “if I go back, I won’t be able to leave. That will be the end.”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to leave?”

“You don’t know my family.”

“And whose fault is that?” Fjord teased.

Caduceus nodded. “That’s fair.”

Fjord tried a different tact. “You said it yourself, your family often came and went. Why should you going home for a little while be any different?”

“I don’t know. Bad habits, I suppose.”

“Look, you held down the fort for ten years,” Caduceus flinched slightly, “You saved your home. You saved your family. If you want to go back for a little while and then rejoin us, you are entitled to do just that.”

Caduceus shook his head slightly. “It’s not that simple, Fjord.”

Fjord knocked Caduceus’ arm with his shoulder. “Then tell me what I’m missing, Deucey.”

Caduceus gathered his thoughts with grim, serious care. This, too, was new, his willingness to  _ try _ to open up. “They’ll talk me into it. Staying so they can go. And I’ll do it because I do have a responsibility to the Grove.” His voice dropped to a low whisper, “and this whole thing will start all over again.”

Fjord shifted so that his knee was touching Caduceus’. “You’re afraid of losing them again,” he summed up.

“I’m afraid of losing all of you,” Caduceus gently corrected.

No wonder he and Veth had settled into some kind of understanding lately.

“Well, there is a simple solution, then, isn’t there? Assuming we survive all of-” Fjord rotated his hand in a circle for emphasis, “-this, we can visit the Grove for a little while. All of us, while we figure out what to do after.”

“Really?” Caduceus asked, like the thought had never occurred to him.

“Really. Beau said it was magnificent, even with all the graves and dead people,” Fjord confirmed.

“They give the place charm,” Caduceus drawled.

Fjord laughed and continued, “Yasha would have her pick of flowers.”

“She would really like the Toluse family, I think. Their flowers are stunning.”

“And you know Jester will learn every embarrassing story about you she can find and never let you hear the end of it.”

Caduceus groaned but it was with exasperated fondness. “My siblings wouldn’t even trade her for them, they’d just hand them over to get back at me.”

Fjord chuckled then grew serious. “And I promise, we will drag your ass out of there if you need it.”

Caduceus’ ears perked up slightly. “Thank you, Fjord,” he whispered.

Fjord stretched and readjusted the blanket around Caduceus' shoulders. “Thank you. But seriously, we will drag you out, someone has to keep our dumb asses alive.”

Caduceus laughed. “You’re learning to heal really well, I think you’d do okay,” he joked.

“Do not put that kind of pressure on me, my faith is new and flexible,” Fjord teased right back.

“You’d figure it out. You’re a protector, Fjord, it’s what you do and you’re very good at it.”

Warmth billowed in Fjord’s chest. “Well, it’s easier with you, then.”

“You as well.”

The remainder of the evening passed in all too fleeting peace.


End file.
